HACK YOUR HABITS:
FOCUS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
by Haily Anderson
Pastor Angela, a strong woman that is setting a pace for the women of our church, talked on this topic. It was truly amazing. The most amazing thing about this topic is that relationships are THE MOST important choices in our lives!
This series has looped back to the scripture Romans 12:2 “Fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” This is what developing habits is all about. God’s way develops maturity inside of you that shows you everything worth fighting for takes work. Hard work. Perseverance.
This series has shown us that putting God first, changing our language, and focusing on our purpose can drastically change the path we are on. The fourth habit that Pastor Angela shared today allows us the choice to have those simple habits stick so we can run on the path God has planned for us.
There are four choices we need to make in our relationships, to build them or not. Pastor talked about how important it is to have our choices lead our feelings. The world lets their feelings make their choices and God teaches us to do the opposite. Be diligent in your choices and pray on them so you know it is God’s way.
The first choice in our relationships is to nurture. The status of our relationship shows how much we have nurtured it. The definition of nurture is “to care for and encourage the growth or development of.” That goes for every type of relationship in our lives. Whether it be marriage, dating, engaged, friendship, or relationship with your family; the phrase “The grass is always greener on the other side” is SOOO not true. The grass is greener where it is watered, where it is NURTURED. That takes work… hard work. Your water bill will probably be a heck of a lot more expensive because your grass is greener. Anything worth fighting for takes a lot of work.
WOW. That quote is an amazing visual. The second choice we have is to restore our broken relationships, and when it’s put that way, not forgiving people makes me feel like I have been doing things completely backwards forever. Society teaches us to hold grudges, but God says to do the opposite. The uncomfortable pain we feel stepping out to be the one to heal the relationship and forgive is far less then the pain there is without forgiveness. Could you imagine if God didn’t forgive us every time we messed up and hurt Him? I don’t know about you, but I mess up on a daily basis. God forgives me and loves me through every single mistake and downfall I have. The least we could do is forgive and love on the ones around us.
The third choice Pastor spoke on was to sever our harmful relationships. This is not an easy choice. It is actually SO HARD to cut out toxic people when it is the people you care for and love. People that you are in relationships with and associate with need to speak love into your life. If they are pulling you away from God and your calling, it is best for you and your future to cut them out. Some people influence you to do things that you don’t even want to do. You have the ability to make the choice to get out of that relationship!
The fourth choice we have in relationships is to initiate meaningful ones. Doing the last three choice allows us the room in our lives to initiate new relationships. Our gut reaction is to be alone and binge watch an entire series on Netflix. But Pastor Angela taught us that men need men and women need women! We were not created to do life alone. Now, just saying this and doing this are completely different. We can say that we need meaningful relationships all day long but actually going out and seeking them feels awkward at times. Angela encouraged us to push through the awkwardness. If you have a feeling in your heart to reach out to someone… do it!
Angela broke down how to initiate meaningful relationships in four steps to make the action easier for us.
Develop a relationship with the place you call MY church. One that you claim as your own. One that you grow spiritually in and love on God harder than ever.
Develop a relationship with GODLY friends. Crews make this so easy and fun. Being able to eat and fellowship with people during crews is so important. It’s a safe place where we can be vulnerable and genuine with Godly people.
Develop a relationship with a team. Our teams at My City are so important because they keep everyone linked and pointed to one cause, growing the church. Being a part of something bigger is such an amazing thing to do with like-minded people.
Develop a relationship with God. The last and probably most obvious step. If we don’t have a relationship with God, then everything else we talked about will crumble. Sometimes, we have one step in for the Lord and one step out. The reason we do that is because it’s comfortable and makes it way easier for us to turn and run.
Have you ever wondered to yourself what it looks like to be all in with the Lord?
Romans 12:17-19 The Message (MSG)
17-19 Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”