by Tyler Pieper

Genesis 2:18 

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

It is absolute truth that you are designed to love and be loved, not only by God, but in the innate parts of our fabric that extend beyond our relationship with Him. It is good and totally okay and super normal to desire a partner to carry out our lives with!

But if we aren’t careful, this can sometimes feel a lot like searching for completion. And the only thing constant about feelings: they will always change. People are never supposed to be our temporary fix for a space that only God can fill. Still, many tend to practice these feelings of love instead of it's very principles, leading us down a super blurry and confusing road. The enemy and the world are, undoubtedly, encouraging you to find identity and affirmation and confidence in people.

So we do, or at least we try to… but the end result will always be us frantically searching for ourselves in a lover instead of building a life that is available and pleasing to God.

I'm a single dude in my late twenties, and if I'm candid, it's taken the entirety of this decade to recognize that singleness isn't a disease, no matter how much it may feel like it sometimes. Don’t believe the lie that you are only half a person, half a life, until you find somebody to spend it with. Nobody was ever meant to live like they aren’t already beaming with fulfillment and living color.

This place of God-centered wholeness is the only place eternal love can flow from.

And though it took me awhile, I’ve come to see this time in my life as a really precious opportunity. Not only is it a chance to sift through all the noise and garbage of this bewildering instagram-fueled dating culture, but it’s a prime time to invite God into all the spaces you may believe you don’t measure up. It’s an opportunity to do right and well what so much of the world gets wrong.

I think if more people knew what this time could be, what it's meant to be, we wouldn't be so quick to want to give it away. Especially before we understand what we're doing, and especially before we’re prepared.

There’s this over-arching theme in the Bible about choice, and I’d argue that choice is a part of love’s very foundational structure. God chose us from the very beginning, then He left it up to us to choose Him, and in the smug face of our feelings we have to choose to love people even when we don’t want to.

Pastor Jesse confronted us with the strange reality of today. The fact is, it requires more of us to become licensed on a motorcycle than it does to get married. Little groundwork is required for what is supposed to be a forever-commitment, but they have us taking prerequisites and tests and studying so that we don't crash into each other on the road.

I mean, I get it. It’s totally important to be a ready and informed driver, but we have people getting divorced left and right.

We have perfect strangers leaving drool stains on our pillows at night.

An inbox full of “hey, u up?”

Weekend love has us spinning in circles!

Can anybody else smell the potent metaphor here?

Could it be that lasting love requires more preparation than we think? Could it be that love, simply put, has principles that must be practiced in order to work? And could it be that singleness is actually our privilege to prepare for a healthier, God-centered love in the future?

Any way you choose to spin it, the goal of your relationships will always be to make choices that follow love, and to let your feelings fall in line from there. Because if we ever want the love we find to last beyond the weekend, we’d better be dang sure that the place it flows from is eternal.